I don't want to make this post too long but I also don't want to make it vague so I'm just going to write like it's been on my heart. 2016 was not an easy year for me. Within the first two months of moving back I started struggling with a lot of things but predominantly the effects of two injuries on my knees. Driving was chore for a long time last year and stairs too. There was a time that I did not even want to look at nor go near any staircase, no matter how small. The pain wasn't even the hard part and believe me it was bad, I had to tape my knees a lot last year just to remain sane. The toll that it took on me mentally? story for another day.. Depression kicked in really quickly and it came with all its family members, anger, fear, frustration etc. I did not want to talk to or even see a lot people, neither did I want to answer questions.
Here is the thing about worry, it affects everything, your peace of mind, your ability to look past the present, your sanity, but then most importantly, it blocks God. It took me a while to realize that something was wrong with my faith, if all I did after reading medical reports was cry. So my prayers changed from routine, to something really personal, it had to. I laid everything out, including my anger and resentment at God. I stopped asking for anything instant, I just wanted my mindset toward the entire thing to change and it did, with time. Gradually I stopped looking at every month that went by as something lost, they started to represent progress, even the first five months that felt like hell.
I had gradually started entering acceptance mode when God in his usual way, made it clear that I did not have to accept shit. I decided to get a second opinion (I went back to the UK since I had a valid visa and a return ticket) and I can still remember my utter shock the day that I was told that I did not have a quarter of the things that I had been diagnosed with previously. You see the diagnosis had been wrong so therefore the prescribed treatment was wrong too, that is why nothing had worked for months. Things gradually started getting better after that, I came back home after 2 months and finalized my move to Lagos, I wasn't pain free but God had eased my biggest burdens so the rest was just a matter of time.
I learnt a lot last year, mainly on waiting and on gratefulness. I was grateful for so much. From the things that I had grown so used to having, to things as basic as fuel and food. Friends who made it their business to call you almost daily knowing well enough that you will not be calling them back because it was never give and take with them. Family members who tried so much not show their worry, offering nothing but encouragement. Siblings that were beyond cute with their small notes and calls and a sister who came straight from school to Lagos to "drive me around" in a city that she had never driven in before. And believe me this is a very weak summary of all that they did, so nobody told me to sit down and count my blessings.
I am way better now. I went back to work towards the end of last year and its been a lot of work. I'm blogging full time now and considering that I am a one man show, my pace has been a lot slower than I would like. I take my pictures and film my videos myself, I also do all my editing myself so I kind of underestimated things at the beginning but it is gradually picking up. I have changed and will be changing my Blog/Insta/youtube/twitter/snapchat username from Thatigbochick to DimmaUmeh, I feel like its time. I explained my reasons a lot more in the video below so please don't forget to check it out. I will be introducing and reintroducing some new categories to the blog too. The good thing is that I spent a lot of time last year learning how to make better use of the the equipments that I had online so I cannot wait to begin sharing some of the things that I have created with you guys. The name change will become effective on the blog in the next few days so I might have to make it private for installation. I will keep you guys posted via Snapchat, Insta and Facebook. After this, posting will resume immediately.
Lastly I just want to thank each and everyone of you for all the loving messages that I received on Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, name it. Some of my emails were just prayers straight up and they just made me cry, you guys will never know how much they meant. I will be replying as much of them as I can this weekend so please bear with me. 2016 was generally a hard year for many so I'm just going to end this post by saying to anyone who needs it, keep faith, remember God's promises and keep pushing, a time will come when yow will remember it for everything that it taught you.
"The Lord, your God, is in your midst, a saving warrior; he will rejoice over you with gladness, and revive you in his love; he will dance with songs of joy for you, as one does on a day of festival." Zephaniah 3:17